The Truth About Adultery and Divorce — A Theocratic Essay
Half of all marriages end in divorce, they say. Are they justified? Who decides? Jesus had some thoughts on the subject. It wasn’t until recently that I finally understood. lol, we humans think we’re so slick.
The Truth About Adultery and Divorce — A Theocratic Essay
By Rock Kitaro
Remember who is the father of the lie. Keep in mind that lies are enticing because sometimes they tell us what we want to hear. The truth can be painful because it exposes what some of us wish to hide. But to God…there is no hiding. Even if you lie to others, even if you lie to yourself, He can see your deepest intent, he knows what’s in your heart. There is no fooling him.
So when you divorce your spouse because “you’re just not happy anymore” or because “he’s not the same person you once knew” or because “you don’t deserve to live the rest of your life in an abusive relationship.”…it’s in your best interest to acknowledge that God knows the truth. These are all convenient excuses our modern society accepts and lauds for ending marriages.
But how does God feel about it? What did Jesus say about it? Do you want to know? Or are you just content with how humans view it…especially if they’re telling you what you want to hear?
During Jesus’s famous Sermon on the Mount, he told the people, “Everyone divorcing his wife, except on account of sexual immorality, makes her a subject for adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” ( Matt. 5:32)
What? I’ve read that scripture so many times, and I confess, I never truly understood it. How is it that a man who marries a divorced woman, commits adultery? How does a husband subject his wife to adultery by divorcing her? It didn’t make sense.
By most accounts and Merriam Webster’s definition of the word: Adultery is “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than that person’s current spouse or partner.”
The keyword there is “current” spouse or partner. So what gives?
Pretty much, adultery is “cheating” on your wife or husband while you’re married. But if you’re divorced, how then are you still committing adultery by the standards plainly put by Jesus Christ? Even in Matthew 19: 3–12, he discusses it with the Pharisees and his Disciples.
It wasn’t until a couple of weeks ago that I finally understood. Jehovah really is all-powerful, all knowing. As smart as I think I am, I can’t even compare to his infinite wisdom.
We humans think we’re so slick. Always searching for loop holes. Always looking for a way to take advantage of a good thing. Even if we have others fooled or tricked, you can’t hide the truth from God.
Think about it. Honestly, the picture should be a lot clearer for us here, now in 2019, more so than ever in history. How many times have you heard of someone getting divorced or breaking up…only for them to be in another heavily committed relationship with someone else in a matter of weeks, if not days?
That’s a bit quick, right? Lucky? Or was something else happening?
“I’m not committing adultery. I’m no longer married! So, I’m free to have sex and marry whoever I want!”
Get it? How many times have we seen it where a person falls in love, divorces their spouse, only to remarry that other person they fell in love with. We think we’re avoiding the sin of adultery by getting that divorce, but God knows our hard hearts. Unless sexual immorality was the cause of the divorce, God knows that you’re only getting a divorce because you want to be with someone else. Or worse, you’ve entertained the idea of finding someone else, someone better (which backfires more often than naught). Divorce does not absolve you of the sin of adultery.
Everyone knows adultery is a heavy sin. It used to be a crime punishable by execution. We’re all sinners, yes. But not all sin is the same, regardless what the world is trying to teach you. I know. For at least a decade now, they’ve been telling us that men and women are the same, we should all get paid the same (regardless of hours or years spent on the job), and that we’re all sinners, so one should stop talking about a specific sin because they’re all the same.
They’re not. In 1st Corinthians 6: 9–11, the Apostle Paul lays out a list of sins in which these kinds of people will not inherit the Kingdom of God. Adulterers are on that list. Even in the Old Testament, Moses reveals God’s feelings on the issue in Deuteronomy 24: 1–4. He describes adultery as detestable, an abomination.
It harkens back to Hannah Brown’s exchange with Luke in that season of the Bachelorette. When Luke confronts her about her sexual immorality, she responds with “I’ve had sex and Jesus loves me.” And further goes on the counter by saying, “well you have pride, and that’s sinful!”
…as if pride and adultery are the same thing…Not to mention, pride often leads to sexual immorality, in which Hannah was guilty of by her own proclamation. The whole point of Hannah’s defense was to say that she and Luke are the same. There we go again. We’re all the same. We’re all sinners. No better or worse. God loves us all the same and so forth. Meanwhile, we all know these are just horrible lies that sinners tell themselves to feel better.
Reminds you of what your mom used to say, right? “If everyone jumps off a bridge, would you?”
One more point about pride, I noticed it’s not on that list noted in 1st Corinthians. Pride is warned against, yes. Pride envy, anger, despair…these can all be negative emotions, sure, but they can also be positive and useful…which is why I believe God created them and gave them to us. Like a hammer, you can use it to destroy or build up. In 1st Corinthians, Paul writes, “the one who boast, let him boast in Jehovah.” ( 1st Corinth. 1:31)
In the Old Testament, Jeremiah wrote, “This is what God says: Let not the wise man boast about his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast about his mightiness, and let not the rich man boast about his riches, but let the one boasting boast about this, that he has insight and knowledge of me, that I am Jehovah, the One showing loyal love, justice, and righteousness in the earth.” ( Jer. 9: 23–24)
Even King David had an enormous amount of pride when he ran through the streets singing and dancing with the commons people about God’s wonder when they were bringing the Ark to Jerusalem. His wife, Michal criticized him for being undignified (in her eyes). Then, in 2nd Samuel 6:23 it is written, “So Saul’s daughter Michal had no children down to the day of her death.”
I personally believe that some sins are weighed more heavily than others because they’re destructive to the society as a whole, like a poison that spreads throughout the entire body of humankind. Not only that, it leads to the violation of some of God’s first commandments, like “Be fruitful and become many”.
Think about everything that’s wrong with this world. Historically, what kind of people were the ones who ended up ruining God’s nation of Israel? Do you think God would bring about a new Kingdom of Heaven only to allow these same kinds of people to corrupt and ruin others?
“So hang on, Rock? Are you really advocating that women should just stay with their husbands if they’re being abused or mistreated day in and day out?”
I’m advocating that we follow the teachings of Christ, our Lord and Savior who died for our sins that we might have the hope of everlasting life. This is why marriage should be taken extremely seriously, not on a whim and not for the wrong reasons. Love is important, yes, but more than anything you should use discernment that comes from intelligence. If you lack intelligence, as young people often do, listen to those who love you and possess it.
For us Christians, it is indeed a binding union, a covenant between a man and a woman. Jesus said these loving yet firm words at Matthew 19: 6, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
I respect these words not just because Jesus was talking about marriage itself, but Jesus said that the “second greatest commandment” (after loving God with our whole heart and our whole soul), was to love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other greater commandment than these. ( Mark 12:28–31)
In loving my fellow neighbor, I will never covet his wife. If I see any woman with a wedding ring on her finger…even if she’s just wearing a ring on that ring finger but she’s not married, I’ll never think about her in the romantic sense. Such thoughts are dangerous. lol, I don’t even follow married women on Instagram unless its for something other than their beauty.
Ever since I was a teenager, I held marriage in the highest regard. My parents divorced when I was around six and during those turbulent teen years, my life was a living hell, a prison where my parents twisted and used me and my brothers as pawns to attack each other. I’m exaggerating a bit, but the sentiment was real. I love my parents now, but back then there was a tremendous amount of hatred in my heart and I blame it on divorce.
Ironically, one of the many good things my parents did was instill in me an old-school chivalrous attitude about love and dating. “ Dating is to prepare you for marriage. Sex is about love,” they said. I believed in this even before I read the Bible and committed myself to the words of Christ.
BECAUSE IT MAKES SENSE!
Don’t you see? No one wants to be alone. Love is a powerful emotion. Jealousy and heartbreak are devastating. Why wish this on anyone? Least of all, someone you “claim” to care about. However, if everyone is getting married and divorced like its some spring fling, just an ephemeral phase in one’s life, it disrupts everything. Not just the peace, happiness, and stability of our society, but you’re also ruining yourself, spiritually, mentally, and physically.
Years ago, I posed one of my controversial Facebook posts where I asked, “What would happen is divorce was outlawed in America?”
As you can imagine, tempers flared and fires erupted. One dude said that it would result in the increase of homicides. But I’ll never forget one woman, who was clearly a divorcee, telling me that unless I’ve been through divorce, I had no right to speak on the issue.
My ass. Excuse my language here, but get the fuck out of here with that nonsense! To me, that’s like saying, if you weren’t involved in Truman’s decision to drop the atomic bomb on Nagasaki, then you have no right to speak on the issue…I think some Japanese civilians who had to live with the painful radioactive fallout would disagree. Regardless whether they’re wrong or right, they have every right to speak on the issue. Sons and daughters suffer from the fallout of divorce.
“So Rock, if you had a sister. And you found out she was being abused by her husband to the point that she was now traumatized. Are you saying, she should stay with him?”
I’m saying she shouldn’t get divorced. My house is always open and I’d love to see this guy try and abuse her in my presence.
Not to mention, it’s interesting how you think your debate is with me. You’re exposing your own defiance. Reminds me of that potent saying, “So many people want Christ to conform to their lives, instead of conforming their lives to Christ.”
This is why marriage should be taken seriously. This is why I say it makes sense to treat dating as a form of preparation for marriage. If you marry someone who ends up abusing you physically, mentally, or verbally…it means you made a mistake and chose poorly. The consequence, if you endeavor to follow the words of Christ, is that you’re married to this man for the rest of your life unless he commits adultery. This is the one condition Christ mentions as permittable grounds for divorce. If I am wrong, please correct me with scriptural evidence and I will most definitely adjust my views.
I know all that might sound horrible, but I encourage you to be honest here. I know we humans like to use the rare extreme cases and apply it to the majority, like rape being the reason why so many women get abortions. But be honest. How bad is all this so-called abuse that’s prompting women to get divorced? Forgive me, I’m singling women out here because according to numerous studies, nearly 70% of divorce is initiated by women.
And oddly enough, this straight up empirical, but I’ve seen and heard from women in real life who have endured years of horrible rage-inducing abuse from their husbands, and yet they stayed married. Of course, these women were women of faith and I don’t want this to sound like I’m criticizing women of faith who got divorced due to the abuse. This is all food for thought. Because I have never been married. As intelligent and emphatic as like to think I am, I can never truly know what it feels like to be in the shoes of someone who’s abused like the cases I’ve heard.
I do want to point out that there’s some valid speculations as to why it’s mostly women initiating the divorce proceedings. The number one reason is government. The court system favors women, everyone and their mothers know this. When spouses get divorced, in most cases it’s the men who have to pay alimony. More and more horror stories are coming out about how there were no ground for the divorce other than the “woman was no longer happy.” And blam, divorce and the man has to give up nearly half his paycheck. Although, with more women entering the work force, they’re now being forced to pay alimony and it’s not fun.
And of course, it wasn’t always like this. Not too long ago, it was the men who were divorcing women or straight up abandoning the whole family in the middle of the night. “Papa was a Rollin Stone” came out in the 70s. And just like I’m singling out women for leaving their husbands in the present day, God was rebuking men in the past for leaving their wives. In Malachi Chapter 2, God rebuked the men for leaving the wives of their youth in favor of foreign women who didn’t serve the one true God. Divorce.
All of this leads to the emergence of groups like MGTOW (Men Going their Own Way) and Red Pilled Men who preach and disseminate ideas and stereotypes about the supposed “true nature” of men and women. We see the rise of Incels and concepts like Hypergamy coming to the foreground. Words like gynocentric and a seething resentment from men and women towards each other, when really, we should be complimenting each other, not competing to do the same thing.
This wasn’t God’s design, but I dare say, it is what he knew would happen. Ever since he first created us, he gave us the option to obey or disobey. And thanks to that all enticing lie, telling us what we want to hear, we disobeyed by eating from the Fruit of the Tree.
That’s not God’s fault. He’s not to blame for our disobedience and he isn’t to blame for creating the fruit or Satan who whispered the lie into Eve’s ear. In fact, I’ll go so far as to thank him for all that’s happened. If these things weren’t put in motion, I fear we would never have come to know even a fraction of the extent of God’s love, grace, and kindness.
What do I mean? Well, he gave us the Bible. It’s more than just a rule book of commandments, it’s an instruction manual for life. He’s teaching us who we are. Why we are. What will happen and how to save ourselves and our loved ones. When we read it, we have to be humble, acknowledging that we are mere grains of sand, a breath from his nostrils. We think we know it all, that we know better, but compared to Him who knows everything? We’re like 4-year-olds to Him.
God created Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Eve and Jessica and Lashonda. Just two people. Man and woman. Husband and wife. He knew. Man’s not meant to be alone. By man, he means humans. We are social creatures.
In Gen: 3:16, it was right after Adam and Eve ate from the fruit and their shame was laid bare. God told Eve, “I will increase the pain of your pregnancy, in pain you will give birth to children, your longing will be for your husband, and he will dominate you.”
If you read this with a humble heart, you will accept the Word of God and realize at least two things. 1) God loves and cares about us, which is why he reacted at all. He could have done nothing and never intervened in our lives at all and that would truly be hell. Or worse, he could have just given up and ended human existence right then and there. And 2) He took the time to explain to us what was happening to us. He didn’t have to.
Recall the account of Job who lost all of his children and possessions and was covered in boils and he never ever found out why. It was all because of a conversation God had with Satan in heaven, yet Job remained faithful. Can you imagine? Such suffering with no rhyme or reason? In addition to that, he had some of his closest friends come and present some of the most convincing arguments as to why it was all happening to Job, and they were all wrong.
But fear, Peter and Paul encourages Christians to love and cherish their wives. Wives are to submit to their husbands, yes, but men are to honor their wives. In Ephesians 5:28, Paul writes “In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. A man who loves his wife, loves himself. For no man ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cherishes it, just as Christ does the congregation.”
Is it really so horrible to submit? Don’t you think life would be a lot easier if we all simply submitted and accepted these truths? Consider how difficult life has gotten these past few decades as our nation has become more and more secular, where people started saying, “God has no place in politics, education, or entertainment.”
Yes, men have done horrible things in the name of God. There’s no denying that. But again, God knew this would happen because humans simply don’t like to obey, submit.
Depression is on the rise. Sadly, more and more women are going on antidepressants while men lead the way in the suicide rate. The birthrate is declining. Less people are getting married. Debt’s increasing because people don’t care about the future. People are favoring socialism (a reliance on the government to provide) because they lost confidence in themselves.
Even for me, as a Christian, I confess it is tough to live in this world. But I dare say, it’s only tough because this world is run by Satan. If I was surrounded by God fearing Christians who endeavored to put him first, adhering to Jesus’s teachings, abstaining from worldly ambitions and materialistic things…
The only thing that keeps me going is the strength God gives me. No that’s not true. There’s more than that. I have a beautiful niece. I enjoy my scribblings (writing). I like getting stronger through boxing and the eternal hope of finding a beautiful woman who endeavors to serve God as I do will never die. The strength God blesses me with is the “main” thing that keeps me going, certainly not the “only” thing.
And even though humans don’t like to “submit”…many of us do of our own free will. We are the faithful remnant. Those who have chosen to take up the cross and follow Jesus. Don’t be fooled. Many say they do, but don’t. And even if they say they do and you’re enticed by their lifestyle, it’s your responsibility to learn the truth.
Don’t be discouraged. There’s still time to repent. It won’t be overnight but if you try, if you strive with your whole heart, God will see that. He knows it’s tough for us out here. He knows the battered and bruised women who endured years of abuse yet remained true to the covenant. He knows the sexual inclinations of our hearts and how badly we’re resisting temptation out of love and respect for him, out of fear of his abandonment, out of fear of losing his love and grace.
We will be rewarded. In Matthew chapter 6, Jesus encourages us to stop storing up our treasures here on earth, where rubbers can come and steal it, where rust consumes it. But to store up our treasure in heaven. You can’t serve two masters. You cannot submit to God and to riches. Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and all these other things will be added onto you.
The purpose of my writing this post was to share my understanding of the scriptures. To encourage Christians to keep going. To shine light on the darkness as Jesus commanded in Matt. 5: 14–16.
“14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”
I submit that I may be wrong in my understanding of the scriptures. I encourage all of you to read them for yourselves and pray for the guidance and understanding.
I also submit that at least half of what’s wrong, is people lacking the courage, neglecting their duty to stand up and call out these injustices. We’re more afraid of Twitter Mobs and PC culture than we are of God. We’re more afraid of being alone here, now, in this current life, that we’re willing to ruin our chances in everlasting life by jumping into marriage and divorce…committing adultery yet telling ourselves, all is well, all is justified.
Originally published at http://stageinthesky.com on September 3, 2019.